Why A Family?

Why Become a Biblical Family?

Brian Kuehmichel
November 22, 2011

To make thee high above all nations which he hath made, in praise, and in name, and in honour; and that thou mayest be an holy people unto the LORD thy God, as he hath spoken. Deuteronomy 26:19

And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:4-6

As ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children, That ye would walk worthy of God, who hath called you unto his kingdom and glory. 1 Thessalonians 2:11-12

Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, 5:11-13

The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him. Proverbs 20:7

For these beneficial reasons:

Biblical fathers model civility and decorum.

Matthew 5:16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

Deuteronomy 11:18-21a Therefore shall ye lay up these my words in your heart and in your soul, and bind them for a sign upon your hand, that they may be as frontlets between your eyes. And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt write them upon the door posts of thine house, and upon thy gates: That your days may be multiplied, and the days of your children.

Colossians 4:6 Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

1 John 3:10 In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God, neither he that loveth not his brother.

"...the most important thing that socializes children and turns them from feral savages into civilized citizens: a father who is a fully committed member of the family unit." Barbarians Within the Gates — Part I by Melanie Phillips at www.schwarzreport.org/

Biblical fathers love and guide their family.

Psalm 103:13 Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him.

Psalm 78:5-7 For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children: That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments.

Luke 1:17 And he shall go before him in the spirit and power of Elias, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just; to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.

"The problem, at bottom, is love, something we never talk about in public policy discussions because it's too soft and can't be quantified or legislated. But little children without love and guidance are afraid. They're terrified—they have nothing solid in the world, which is a pretty scary place. So they never feel safe. As they grow, their fear becomes rage. Further on, the rage can be expressed in violence. This is especially true of boys, but it's increasingly true of girls. What's needed can't be provided by government." Barbarians Within the Gates — Part IV by Peggy Noonan at www.schwarzreport.org/

Biblical fathers lay the foundations for right living in the family unit.

John 13:15 For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.

1 Timothy 4:12 Be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.

1 Peter 5:3 Neither as being lords over God's heritage, but being examples to the flock.

The article, The Sinful State, by Llewellyn H. Rockwell Jr. explains:

"The virtues of the bourgeoisie ([They are] a class of savers and contract keepers, people who are concerned for the future more than the present, people with an attachment to family. This class of people cares more for their children's welfare, and for work and productivity, than for leisure and personal indulgence.) are the traditional virtues of prudence, justice, temperance, and fortitude. Each has an economic component — many economic components in fact."

"1. Prudence supports the institution of saving, the desire to get a good education to prepare for the future, and the hope to pass on an inheritance to our children.

2. With justice comes the desire to keep contracts, to tell the truth in business dealings, and to provide compensation to those who have been wronged.

3. With temperance comes the desire to restrain oneself, to work before play, which shows that prosperity and freedom are ultimately supported by an internal discipline.

4. With fortitude comes the entrepreneurial impulse to set aside inordinate fear and to forge ahead when faced with life's uncertainties. These virtues are the foundation of the bourgeoisie, and the basis of great civilizations."

Biblical fathers play a unique and crucial role in nurturing and guiding children's development.

Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

2 Timothy 3:16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.

"Research shows consistently what children know intuitively: Fathers are important." Ten Ways Fathers Model Healthy Relationships for Their Children

"Father involvement in early childhood and onwards makes a big positive difference for the child, research says." The Importance Of Father Involvement

Fourteen unique civil and social benefits derive from fathers participation in the family unit. Things A Father Does Best

Biblical fathers model direction, purpose, steadfastness, self-discipline, resourcefulness and much more in marriage.

1 Timothy 1:9-10 Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine;

Hebrews 12:9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

Colossians 3:20-21 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

Ephesians 6:2-4 Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

"This new manual, The Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Development of Children, is a result of increased recognition of the vital role that fathers play in all aspects of their children's lives."

"The findings showed that the mother and father measures of father involvement were highly correlated and that mothers and fathers generally agreed on the occurrence of both literacy behaviors. Both father involvement measures significantly predicted the two literacy outcomes. Maternal education level did not affect the strength of the relationships between father reports of their involvement and the literacy outcomes." Courtney Michele Barnes, Some Relationships among Father Involvement and the Literacy Interests of Young Children with Disabilities

There is a Father Factor in: Poverty, Emotional and Behavioral Problems, Maternal and Child Health, Crime, Incarceration, Teen Pregnancy & Sexual Activity, Child Abuse, Drug and Alcohol Abuse, Childhood Obesity, Education. The Father Factor - Data on the Consequences of Father Absence

The Common Roles of Fathers: The Five Ps: Participator/Problem-solver, Playmate, Principled guide, Provider, Preparer

Biblical fathers place boundaries of protection around their daughters and teach their sons to do the same.

They display a pattern a respect for their wives which enforces respect from their children and their playmates toward women and girls.

Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it

Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

Ephesians 6:4 And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

"In conclusion, when fathers are nurturing, consistent and available, they are more likely to develop positive relationships with their daughters. Their involvement continues through adolescence and is demonstrated through the sharing of activities, parental monitoring, acceptance of changes related to puberty and open communication that is, most likely, not sexual in nature. In addition, fathers in positive relationships with their daughters may also act as role models for appropriate male behavior and through observed mother-father interactions, set a standard that must be met by future partners." Karen M. Hill-Holliday, Father-Daughter Attachment and Sexual Behavior in African-American Daughters, 2009.

"A father impacts every aspect of his daughter's life—for her entire life. Fathers model for their daughters how women should be treated, how men should act, and how a man shows healthy love and affection toward a woman. And, perhaps most importantly, he sets the standard for how his daughter feels she deserves to be treated by men." http://www.empoweringchristianwomen.com/2012_04_01_archive.html commenting on: That's My Girl: How a Father's Love Protects and Empowers His Daughter, by Rick Johnson, ISBN 978-1-4412-3605-0

Biblical fathers model appropriate sexual boundaries and teach sexual self-control in marriage.

The blessing and benefits of family preclude the tendency to seek outside of marriage those things that belong exclusively inside of marriage.

Matthew 5:27-28 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Luke 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

Acts 15:29 That ye abstain from meats offered to idols, and from blood, and from things strangled, and from fornication: from which if ye keep yourselves, ye shall do well. Fare ye well.

Romans 13:9 For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

Galatians 5:18-21 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

Colossians 3:5 Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

1 Thessalonians 4:3 For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication.

1 Timothy 1:9-10 Knowing this, that the law is not made for a righteous man, but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and for sinners, for unholy and profane, for murderers of fathers and murderers of mothers, for manslayers, For whoremongers, for them that defile themselves with mankind, for menstealers, for liars, for perjured persons, and if there be any other thing that is contrary to sound doctrine.

Fathers integrate sexual restraint and model the boundaries of conjugal marriage. See: Sex and Culture by J. D. Unwin in The Case for Marriage

"The idea that the sexual act is purely private and has little to do with anyone other than the individuals involved is, quite frankly, false. Unwin's work is sociological proof that the "free love" mentality is detrimental to society in every sphere. Aside from the private repercussions to individuals who sleep around at whim, sexual laxity produces social laziness, which eventually puts a society as a whole at risk."

"Abstinence and marriage education, which seeks to re-instill a sexual norm of restraint, is not religious propaganda; even from a merely sociological view, this type of education has the society's best interest in mind. Indeed, when societies uphold norms which elevate the sexual act to its proper place in marriage, they benefit in ways that reach far beyond the sexual fulfillment of its citizens." Danielle Lussier

Biblical fathers procreate children inside the boundaries of marriage.

"When a man and a women get married, they become ONE FLESH. They are now one in body, soul, and spirit in God's eyes. They have been given the gift of life in their children. Psalms:127:3, “Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” A child is biologically composed of both mom and dad genetically. This is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE for homosexuals to do. The irrefutable scientific, Biblical, and natural FACT that lesbians and gays cannot conceive a natural-born child is solid evidence against same-sex marriage. Same-sex unions are NOT marriages sanctioned by God. It is a sin for anyone to say that God approves of homosexuality or same-sex marriages. God has already spoken in His Word (Romans 1:17-32)." Quote from: AND THEY SHALL BE ONE FLESH

Malachi 2:15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.

Genesis 18:19 For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.

Psalm 144:12 That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace.

Proverbs 20:7 The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.

Psalm 127:4-5 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

Jeremiah 17:7 Blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD, and whose hope the LORD is.


Biblical fathers model the foundation of leadership for family and societal continuity.

"Young boys in particular need the leadership of male role models who offer constructive life lessons, including the setting and achieving of worthwhile goals."
"Many youth go a lot farther than they thought they could, simply because someone else thought they could! Imagine the impact if we all just invested a little in society's youth; we would reap the benefits of safer, fulfilling communities." Fathers (and Moms): Leadership Begins at Home, By Charles Reynolds

"Successful fathers ... are smart, effective leaders at home as well as on the job. Their strengths of character impress their children as much as their colleagues at work. Their devotion to their family, in fact, gives meaning and purpose to their strenuous life of professional work. The main purpose of their work is the welfare of their family, and their children know this. In short, a successful father exercises leadership at home as much as on the job -- and in roughly the same ways."

"Children with a father like this, wholly supported by a great wife, have a fighting chance of becoming great men and women. They grow to honor Dad and Mom, live by lessons learned since childhood, and pass these on to their own children whole and intact."
[See the subheading: Leadership at home for 23 aspects of a Father's beneficial leadership.] Fathers (and Moms): Leadership Begins at Home, By James B. Stenson

Biblical fathers encourage and promote beneficial participation in community and political arenas.

"Over the past decade, considerable research has emerged that demonstrates the benefits of religious practice within society. Religious practice promotes the well-being of individuals, families, and the community." ... "Strong and repeated evidence indicates that the regular practice of Religion has beneficial effects in nearly every aspect of social concern and policy. This evidence shows that religious practice protects against social disorder and dysfunction." Why Religion Matters Even More: The Impact of Religious Practice on Social Stability, By Patrick F. Fagan, Ph.D.

"People with more resources (income, education, skills) are more likely to get involved. So are people with more connections, both through social networks and religious involvement. People who follow politics and who believe that the system will respond to them are also more likely to get involved. So are people who believe that they can make a difference." ... "More so than anything else, levels of education shape social and political participation. Highly educated people are more likely to vote. They are also more likely to write officeholders and to attend local political meetings. Higher levels of education are associated with a greater propensity to join voluntary associations. Educated people are more likely to volunteer and to give to charity. Putnam argues that education is the strongest predictor of civic engagement." Civic Engagement in America: Why People Participate in Political and Social Life, By Eric M. Uslaner


See: Kathleen A. Kovner Kline, Hardwired to Connect: The New Scientific Case for Authoritative Communities (New York: Broadway Publications, 2003), p. 8. This crucial report was produced jointly by the YMCA of the USA, the Commission on Children at Risk, Dartmouth Medical School, and the Institute for American Values. The report's website says:

“As an ideal type, an authoritative community has 10 main characteristics: 1) it is a social institution that includes children and youth; 2) it treats children as ends in themselves; 3) it is warm and nurturing; 4) it establishes clear boundaries and limits; 5) it is defined and guided at least partly by nonspecialists; 6) it is multigenerational; 7) it has a long-term focus; 8) it encourages spiritual and religious development; 9) it reflects and transmits a shared understanding of what it means to be a good person; 10) it is philosophically oriented to the equal dignity of all persons and to the principle of love of neighbor. Authoritative communities can be families with children, and all civic, educational, recreational, community service, business, culture and religious groups, that serve or include persons under the age of 18, that exhibit these characteristics.”

“While it is possible for business and civic organizations to fulfill this function, by design they can almost never fulfill all 10 criteria. Churches, by definition, almost always do (obviously some churches do better than others).” Dr. Jeff Myers, The Hunger for Meaning.

Note that an integrated family connected to grandparents, neighbors, church and other groups such as 4-H can easily fulfill these ten things and prepare their growing children to replicate this when they establish their own family units.

Cohabitation enjoys an undeserved reputation in some circles as a progressive alternative to marriage. One academic has gone so far as to label the marriage license as "a hitting license," legitimizing spouse abuse. However, new research at the University of New Hampshire finds that cohabiting couples abuse each other more often...

...neither age, education, nor occupation explain the violent propensity of cohabitors. Professors Stets and Straus conjecture that cohabiting couples may be more abusive, because they are "more likely to be isolated from their network of kin than dating and married couples." On the other hand, "it is possible that some enter cohabitation, rather than marriage, to keep more of their own independence, only to find that there are frequent arguments over rights, duties and obligations which may lead to violence... Indeed, [previous] research indicates that where the issue of control frequently arises, violence often occurs."... [See: www.MarriageSavers.org]

Here is a definition for pornography for you to ponder: Sensory (auditory, visual and olfactory [aromatic]) stimuli that are suggestive of access to intimate personal areas that are not given by appropriate (Biblical) consenual relationships or by appropriate duty from a care provider. — What do you model?